Toilet Talk

😁😄   All in fun!  😆😁

Public toilet at Istanbul Airport

Public toilets at ancient town of Ephesus, Turkey

Our German friends have a sense of humor!

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Pet Life: Snoot Hoot Frenchie Funny Friday

Sorry for her choice of words .... So I’m sitting there playing with Lenny as you do..until something on the floor caught my attention. I had no idea what it was, so I picked him up and put him outside to assess the situation further. I had a closer look only to discover what was his nose that had fallen off and was just lying there on the floor. His actual nose was on the fucking floor. I started freaking out thinking he’s never going to sniff piss again on his walks and I know he loves doing that, I was thinking he must be in pain, I was also thinking how on earth am I going to tell my mum that whilst in my care - the dogs nose has managed to fall off.

Anyway, I eventually plucked up the courage to pick it up because I thought nah surely not, this cannot be...only to then realize he’s bitten the nose off one of his soft toys and his nose still remains.

Lennys nose is in full working order and completely attached to his face, where it should be. Thank fuck for that. Need a beer or 10 after that moment of panic👃🏼🐶🍻

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creation, per the Book of Genesis

Lenny the Frenchie Pup

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Funny-Friday Political Joke

by the Federalist Papers   ...  A Harley Biker is riding by the zoo in Washington, D.C. when he sees a little girl leaning into the lion’s cage.

Suddenly, the lion grabs her by the collar of her jacket and tries to pull her inside to slaughter her, under the eyes of her screaming parents.

The biker jumps off his Harley, runs to the cage and hits the lion square on the nose with a powerful punch.

Whimpering from the pain the lion jumps back letting go of the girl, and the biker brings the girl to her terrified parents, who thank him endlessly.

A reporter has watched the whole event.

The reporter addressing the Harley rider says, “Sir, this was the most gallant and bravest thing I’ve seen a man do in my whole life.”

The Harley rider replies, “Why, it was nothing, really. The lion was behind bars. I just saw this little kid in danger, and acted as I felt right.”

The reporter says, “Well, I’ll make sure this won’t go unnoticed. I’m a journalist, you know, and tomorrow’s paper will have this story on the front page. So, what do you do for a living, and what political affiliation do you have?”

The biker replies “I’m a U.S. Marine, a Republican and I’m voting for Trump.”

The journalist leaves.

The following morning the biker buys the paper to see if it indeed brings news of his actions, and reads, on the front page:

“U.S. MARINE ASSAULTS AFRICAN IMMIGRANT & STEALS HIS LUNCH”

And THAT pretty much sums up the media’s approach to the news these days!

Politically Incorrect JOKE!

**

Liberals vs Conservatives: Beer and the Wheel

pc: wikipedia

Beer and the Wheel:

The two most important events in all of history were the invention of beer and the invention of the wheel.

Beer required grain and that was the beginning of agriculture.

Neither the glass bottle nor aluminum can were invented yet, so while our early humans were sitting around waiting for them to be invented, they just stayed close to the brewery. That's how villages were formed.

The wheel was invented to get man to the beer and vice versa. These two were the foundation of modern civilization and together were the catalyst for the splitting of humanity into two distinct subgroups:

1.Liberals.

2.Conservatives.

Some men spent their days tracking and killing animals to BBQ at night while they were drinking beer. This was the beginning of what is known as the Conservative movement.

Other men who were less skilled at hunting (called 'vegetarians' which was an early human word meaning’ bad hunter') learned to live off the Conservatives by showing up for the nightly BBQ's and doing the sewing, fetching, and haidressing. 
This was the beginning of the Liberal movement.

Some of these liberal men "evolved" into women. Others became known as girlie-men.

Some noteworthy liberal achievements include the domestication of cats, the invention of group therapy, group hugs, and the concept of democratic voting to decide how to divide the meat and beer that Conservatives provided.

Over the years Conservatives came to be symbolized by the largest, most powerful land animal on earth, the elephant. Liberals are symbolized by the jackass for obvious reasons.

Modern Liberals like special flavored beer (with lime added), but most prefer white wine spritzers or imported bottled water. They eat raw fish but like their beef well done.  Sushi, tofu, and French food are standard liberal fare. 



Another interesting evolutionary side note: many liberal women have higher testosterone levels than their men.

Most college professors, social workers, personal injury attorneys, journalists, filmmakers in Hollywood, group therapists and community organizers are liberals. Liberals meddled in our national pastime and invented the designated hitter rule because it wasn't fair to make the pitcher also bat.

Conservatives drink real beer. They eat red meat and still provide for their women. Conservatives are members of the military, big game hunters, rodeo cowboys, lumberjacks, construction workers, firemen, medical doctors, police officers, engineers, corporate executives, 
athletes, airline pilots, and generally anyone who works productively. Conservatives who own companies hire other Conservatives who want to work for a living.

Liberals produce little or nothing. They like to govern the producers and decide what to do with the production. Liberals believe Europeans are more enlightened than Americans. That is why most of the liberals remained in Europe when Conservatives were coming to America. They crept in after the Wild West was tamed and created a business of trying to get more for nothing.

Here ends today's lesson in world history. It should be noted that a liberal may have a momentary urge to angrily respond to this post. A Conservative will simply laugh and be so convinced of the absolute truth of this history that it will be shared immediately to other true believers and to just piss-off more liberals.

And there you have it. Let your next action reveal your true self, I'm going to grab a few beers and grill some steaks! Right after I forward this.

- via Bill Mattson

B E E R

W H E E L






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LoL: The Price of Petrol in Paris

A thief in Paris planned to steal some Paintings from the  Louvre.

pc: unknown

After careful planning, he got past security, stole the paintings, and made it safely to his van.  However, he was captured only two blocks away when his van ran out of gas.  When asked how he could mastermind such a crime and then make such an obvious error, he replied, 'Monsieur, that is the reason I stole the paintings.'

'I had no Monet

to buy Degas

to make the Van Gogh.'

A Fond Look Back ...

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How Many Dogs Does it Take to Change a Lightbulb?

It's Friday's Laugh-of-the-Day. Funny that neither my Shih Tzu pup nor my smart Maltichon dog made it on the "news" clipping, but my intelligent Collie-mix did! (Son and DIL's Australian Shepherd made it too, lol).

Cutie! Australian Shepherd living in Germany

*****

Friday Funnies: Twist and Shout

A little girl leans into a lion’s cage.

Suddenly, the lion grabs her by the collar of her jacket and tries to pull her inside to slaughter her, under the eyes of her screaming parents.

A biker jumps off his Harley, runs to the cage and hits the lion square on the nose with a powerful punch.

Whimpering from the pain the lion jumps back letting go of the girl, and the biker brings the girl to her terrified parents, who thank him endlessly.

A reporter has watched the whole event.

The reporter addressing the Harley rider says, “Sir, this was the most gallant and bravest thing I’ve seen a man do in my whole life.”

The Harley rider replies, “Why, it was nothing, really. The lion was behind bars. I just saw this little kid in danger, and acted as I felt right.”

The reporter says, “Well, I’ll make sure this won’t go unnoticed. I’m a journalist, you know, and tomorrow’s paper will have this story on the front page. So, what do you do for a living, and what political affiliation do you have?”

The biker replies, “I’m a U.S. Marine, a Republican and I voted for Trump”.

The journalist leaves.

The following morning the biker buys the paper to see if it indeed brings news of his actions, and reads on the front page:

"US MARINE ASSAULTS AFRICAN IMMIGRANT; STEALS HIS LUNCH"

There you have it, folks,

the mainstream media's take on the News nowadays. - RRE

pc: wikipedia

Lion

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Friday Funnies: Up Up and Away in My Beautiful Balloon

A woman in a hot air balloon realizes she is lost. She lowers her altitude and spots a man fishing from a boat below. She shouts to him, "Excuse me, can you help me? I promised a friend I would meet him an hour ago, but I don't know where I am."

The man consults his portable GPS and replies, "You're in a hot air balloon, approximately 30 feet above a ground elevation of 2,346 feet above sea level. You are at 31 degrees, 14.97 minutes north latitude and 100 degrees, 49.09 minutes west longitude.

She rolls her eyes and says, "You must be a Republican!"

"I am," replies the man. "How did you know?"

"Well," answers the balloonist, "everything you tell me is technically correct, but I have no idea what to do with your information, and I'm still lost. Frankly, you're not much help to me."

The man smiles and responds, "You must be a Democrat."

"I am, replies the balloonist. "How did you know?"

"Well," says the man, "You don't know where you are or where you're going. You've risen to where you are due to a large quantity of hot air. You made a promise that you have no idea how to keep, and now you expect me to solve your problem. You're in exactly the same position you were in before we met, but, somehow, now it's my fault."

pc: Pic Monkey

this about sums it up

A Woman in a Hot Air Balloon