Black Fathers Matter

My own Dad was far, far, far from perfect (likewise 😐); yet I am thankful for his presence in our home. 

 He did not abandon us, nor divorce my Mom.  If he had been absent by his choice, the hole in our emotional hearts would never have been reparable. Thanks, Dad ❤

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Are Father's Necessary?

 A 5-minute video with the answer:

And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: 

but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.

Ephesians 6

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Dads & Their Influence in our Lives

pc: No Greater Joy Ministries

Happy Father's Day!!

My Dad was very far from perfect -- like me.  My husband (my children's Dad) is not perfect neither, but I do not know of any perfect men or women in this world.  

This is a nice, short article of memories of Dads from HOUZZ
 (by G Purdom)

Love Lasts: Dad’s Imprint on Our Homes

By Robin Breuer   Home Design Photos

Robin Breuer lost her father to cancer at only 13, but a reminder of him sits nestled next to her bookcase. “My most cherished memory is of sitting on his lap in this leather chair, while he relaxed after work with a martini, roasted peanuts and classical music,” Breuer wrote when we asked last week where Houzz users see their dads’ influence in their homes.

“Growing up, I always had a bit of hero worship for my dad. He seemed so intelligent, well-traveled and sophisticated, and this leather chair (from Norway, I believe) embodied all of those qualities,” she later told us via email. “I knew I had to have that chair in my home,” she said.

By Gwendolyn Purdom Home Design Photos

Eventually, Breuer was able to wedge the chair into the front seat of a friend’s car and transport it from New Jersey to her apartment in New York. “I was so worried when we moved it that a leg would break or the leather would tear, but it squeezed in the front seat perfectly,” she says.

“Now it sits prominently in my studio apartment, honoring his memory.”

“Dad chairs,” like Breuer’s, shown here, hold a special place in many homes (we’ve even explored the psychological root of their cultural prominence in the past), but they’re hardly the only visible vehicle for fond memories ahead of Father’s Day.

Much like the heartfelt recollections of mom that users shared last month, the responses our dad question evoked reflected a wide spectrum of personalities, passions and unexpected lessons. Here are a few more stories that stood out.

By Bonnie Martin Home Design Photos

Read the rest of HOUZZ's heart-warming Dad stories H E R E

Love Lasts: Dad’s Imprint on Our Homes

Honour thy father and mother; which is the first commandment with promise;  That it may be well with thee, and thou mayest live long on the earth. (Eph 6:2-3)

Dads' Influence in Our Homes

No Greater Joy Ministries

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Why I do not ♥ this picture

Sept 5, 2009

There's Dad...as usual.  Standing by the door of my childhood home as we piled into our van for the return trip home. It would have been the end of a long and wonderful day with he and Mom. We would have had Lunch or dinner, or both; with the requisite dish made of vegetables from their garden.  Around them, we had no need for permission to lounge around...and gossip...and reminisce...and joke...and laugh out loud. Time to let our hair down and let go of our adult responsibilities.  Grown-ups having fun --no wonder the children never minded visiting Grandma and Grandpa's house.  We were all happy.


And there's the Jungle, aka the front lawn. The object of envy in the whole neighborhood. No square-foot unused/unturned. Such abundance. Flowers. Plants. Colors. And the bees....they ♥ the Jungle and the back yard. It must have been front-page news in the Bee Times.  The Bee internet must have been  a-buzz with the news:  Come one, come all.  This small plot is the next best thing to our hive.  Sweet stuff from bee heaven.  The bees were happy too.

Alas, this was the last known picture of Dad taken by my Brother-in-Law, Chris.

The house has been sold
The front garden has been replaced by sod

There is no repeating of this scene. A season of life has ended.  Forever
Is it such a surprise that I do not heart this picture?

9.7.23.18

Cemetery Marker for my Parents

I got a call from Sam, the Funeral Home Director, on Friday, May 7th. He said that the headstone for Mom and Dad has been put in place. Their policy was to wait for several days in a row to be at least 50 degrees Fahrenheit (the cement needs to set properly). On the same day, I received in the mail the price list for the grounds upkeep at the cemetery.  We have to pay for sod? and plants? and watering? and all upkeep??!!!

This is somewhat of a closure, but Mother's Day was this month, and Father's Day & Mom's birthday is next month.  All events are not and will not be as happy as they used to be.

ETA: We went to the cemetery today, and planted Pansies & one Salvia.  These plants were courtesy of the 6 potted plants I got from the children through church on Mother's Day.  I am not minding it in the least bit.  I am happy they're being put to good use.  May they thrive, by God's grace.  But, we definitely need sod.  Eventually, Mom & Dad's plot will be the prettiest in the whole place.  Especially after Joe gets his hands on it.

After

Before

Personal observations on Michelangelo, da Vinci, Flowers & Chanel

Pictures paint a  1000 words + a few more from me :

Dad's coffin that he personally chose: Decorated with Michelangelo's Pieta on the corners; sides decorated with panels of the Last Supper by Leonardo da Vinci. Great choice, IMO.  My poor Mom on a wheelchair, transported by an ambulance crew plus a CNA & a Caregiver (4 adult people in total), for a private opportunity to say goodbye to Dad at the church.  Thank God for those who coordinated this not-as-easy-as-it-looks event.  My last glimpse of the coffin at the cemetery, its top covered with flowers placed by family and friends plus the white gloves of the pallbearers. Why do I feel sorry for the flowers?! The weather was cold with snow flurries.  The 12 "FREE" folding chairs that no one sat on except for my Chanel bag.  Each of the front row chairs had a bottle of drinking water, a rose, and a pack of tissue.  So grateful to my friend in the purple coat who hooked her arm with mine. My DH had his arm around my waist. I think of it as God's love and support on either side of me.

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Fringe Benefit: Lexus RX 300 Luxury Car

I think I did my Dad a "favor" by my asking to borrow his Lexus RX 300 automobile during his recovery period.  The car would have just sat, unused and looking unhappy, in its usual parking spot in the back of their home. He said Yes, and was rather pleasant about it. The car isn't new, but compared to the three we own, it's comparatively luxurious.

What I appreciate and LuV: Heated leather seats, multiple cd-changer, quiet drive

Automatic Sunroof: Yesterday, it was warm enough to use this feature.  YaY!

Disabled Parking Permit:  We felt guilty about having this Tag hanging on the rear-view mirror, so we put it away in the glove compartment.  However, if running late for music lessons at the always-hard-to-find-parking Wheaton College campus; or, during an extreme emergency.......................................j/k

I-pass: Thanks, Dad!

Gambling Place VIP Parking Tag: No thanks, Dad!

This Old House & my Chanel GST

For thou, Lord, art good, and ready to forgive; and plenteous in mercy unto all them that call upon thee. ~ Psalm 86:5

We all have colds this morning, except for one.  I am glad we were able to visit my parent's lovely home yesterday afternoon.  Got to their house around 3 pm (after morning Piano lessons for Jill and Farrah at CSA, and buying lunch). Let ourselves in 'coz no one was home. Mom is still at the re-hab center, but Dad was home soon after.  Jared put up the newly-drycleaned curtains.  The big screen TV was turned on so we could watch the Cubbies lose.  Plants were brought in.  The b-day presents for Jared and AJ were picked up.  Jared got a box of multi-flavored jelly beans.  AJ will open his present on his birthday.

I find myself feeling more appreciative. We've had this house for almost 36 years.  It was our first and only house since leaving the P.I. in '69. Even our house in the Philippines was rented, so I've been told.  This is home. I like coming here. I want to take pictures of every nook and cranny; and every piece of the decor. I want to remember my growing-up years.  Most of the bad memories are gone. And, for Pete's sake, look at all those glorious, green plants!

However, there's a gnawing question in the back of my mind that has popped up more and more often --- What's going to happen to this beautiful, old house in a few years? 

Chanel Grand Shopping Tote (GST); by the light of the front window

At the dining room with me reflected in the mirror

Jill playing peek-a-boo among Mom's plants

Farrah trying-out my Neiman Marcus umbrella

My old bedroom -- now being used for storing stuff (did they once own a pet bird?!)

I gave this piece of art to my parents; they liked it enough to hang on their wall!

Purchased from, of all  places, Marshalls